What quality do you value most in a friend?

My WordPress blog has these daily writing prompts that I will read but this far haven’t used to write anything about. Today though while I’m waiting out Baxter’s grooming appointment at Summer Moon Coffee, I’m going to write a bit about this one. What quality do I value most in a friend? Any guesses?

Authenticity

I am really grateful that my life is full of very authentic people. I am drawn to anyone who is genuinely at home in their own skin when they are with me. Jayne Z, Sara, Tammy, Carole,Paula, Juli, Jayne M., Mary Ellen, Joslyn, Shawna, Mari, Tom, Nate, Barney, Karl, Carolyn, Hillary, John Mark…gosh that’s a bunch. Of course Dean, the real deal.

What do I mean when I say authentic? Well, let’s take my friend Nate. He’s a young tattoo artist who could be some kind of a scientist but is instead that. He is married to his soulmate Melissa and they have two beautiful girls. He grew up in a Mormon family but when it wasn’t a good fit, he left it behind. As he charted his own course he chose to stay in close proximity to his parents anyway. His partner Melissa is a yoga instructor. She’s pretty brilliant too. I don’t have contact with these guys anymore because keeping up with people where I used to live became overwhelming and as a result I had to let good people go. Just on social media though. Nate and Melissa were acquaintances but very special ones because at hello, they were the very same real people they were for years later.

Maybe the authenticity I am talking about isn’t rooted in the person and their own progress toward self actualization as much as it is in the relationship we share. When I met Nate he was at a coffee shop with one of his daughters. I talked to her first. Then Nate asked me where I was from and before long we found ourselves friends. It was just easy to chat and learn about each other’s lives for a bit. Two very different people – age, gender, background and lifestyle, but it was authentic and as a result effortless. I even got my first and only tattoo as a result of that conversation. (Almost three years later).

Authenticity in friendship is a layered thing. It can be surface or really deep. It can be anything in-between. I admire it because time is so short and the older I get I just don’t want to waste anymore time on things that aren’t real.

This is an interesting way to write a blog …not typical for me – an idea suggested by someone else, written quickly and published. It feels grossly incomplete and imperfect. It’s feels stretching and good. I might have to try it again.

Authenticity goes both ways.