https://youtu.be/rf8jlqdg0ao?si=odVLYE8b3owtHG6w

This is absurd. But tons of us believe it. Way too many people are hearing this and not hearing it at the same time. It’s the way it’s been in the Evangelical and Conservative Christian communities for way too long. To hear a man say a thing and just move on as though we believe it when we actually don’t.

At 63 I now live in a N Austin suburb for one reason, to live near my three young grandchildren. We literally left our dream home and life in Utah to be able to be a part of their lives as they grew up. I freely share that with anyone. But when I heard this Weinstein character and JD Vance declare that the purpose and role of the post menopausal female is to be a grandmother, I felt what can only be described as rage. It was visceral for me, meaning my whole body seemed to feel it.

As I have thought about it since first hearing the actual words said in their patriarchal tone, I’ve been trying to understand why it hit so hard and is such a big deal for me. One is that the Vance character is running for Vice President. The other reason are more personal.

In my quest to understand, I have once again been forced to encounter that part of me that has a voice, has thoughts and dreams… you know, my actual human life after it is hit by words from patriarchal voices. Two white Conservative Christian men telling me that because I was born with ovaries, fallopian tubes, a uterus and vagina, I have certain roles and purposes. They assume that the humans born with a penis and testicles are magically given the right to tell me who I am. These two arrogant men get to tell me what my roles in life are, when I can exercise my will, where I can exist in society and how I must do it. Well, excuse my language here but I have no fucks left for men like this or their ideology. If I go to hell when I die, or live outside of their God’s favor as a result, then so be it. The hard fact is that this paradigm of patriarchy is utterly dehumanizing. It dehumanizes the men who believe it and it destroys the women who bow down to it.

My purpose in life is the one I have chosen for myself. It is to be the best human being I can be.

It is to do justice, to love mercy and to walk humbly with God.

It is to be a good neighbor and love my neighbor as myself.

It is to speak the truth with as much love as possible.

It is to remove the logs from my own eyes before trying to remove the specks in others.

I am here in the sweltering August heat of central Texas because my husband and I both want to be near our grandchildren as they grow up. Did our relocation fit my purpose as a human? Yes. Did it provide for that post menopausal role to be fulfilled for me? NO!

My role as a grandmother is a byproduct of my life. It’s one that came to me unexpectedly. My four grandchildren are not biologically linked to me. I did not expect either of my adult children to make my life meaningful by having children. How horrible to place that on them for my worth. How awful for children to have to meet that expectation. I also chose not expect my sole purpose to be found in the role of wife, mother or parent, even as an Evangelical Christian.

I personally believe that there is nothing as soul deadening as there is when a system so specifically defines the purpose and role of the humans within it. I believe this primarily because deep in that system my own life called me out of it.

I taught Christian school when the system said it was best for women to be home.

I sought mental healthcare for my daughter when the system fought me.

I spoke up in meetings when men told me to be quiet.

I demanded equal pay for equal work when the system decided I didn’t need it because I was married.

I’m so seriously done with this nonsense and you know what? Christian women are too! Most don’t adhere to it in their real lives anyway. JD Vance and Sam Weinstein are punk kids caught up in narcissistic spirituality that makes them feel worthy to be here. They seem to know little about Jesus and his treatment of women. Now under Trump’s thumb, his life is going to be slowly eaten up and ruined. There’s no room on Trump’s stage for anyone else. Think of Mike Pence and his rigid world view. No one even thinks of him anymore.

I will move on like always. But never without a struggle. It took forever to break out of the patriarchal grip and realize my value exists in my being alive in the first place. It took a long time to see my purpose as making that life a good one for myself and others instead of making a system work because God demanded it.