Unlike me, Dean did not delete his Facebook account. He even gave me the password to it so I can check it now and then to see if my niece Melissa has posted new photos of her little man on it. I did and she has. As I scrolled through the page I remembered why I had to leave that lovely little social networking site. In minutes I read about 1) stupid people and idiots 2)Abercrombie and something about them not wanting ugly people representing their line of clothes 3) How Obama and the liberals are doing things that should really TERRIFY me 4)How good people are the most wealthy 5)How God blesses me but not you…should I go on.
I understand that I filter everything through my own worldview and as a result I’m one who also filters life through the emotions…I’m considered an HSP – Highly Sensitive Person. Ya think? Fortunately though, I also have a brain and as my brain filtered the posts I saw, all I could think was, wow, it’s been SO NICE to be IN my life here, in touch with people I genuinely care about and not feel the need to even comment on the things that I find just ridiculous. What’s really great is that the next time I see most of those who post things like I mention here, they won’t ever SAY A THING like they are willing to post on Facebook. I will go back into the cave of not knowing their real thoughts or intentions and can pretend that they are more like me than they really are. We can be civil to each other. In some cases we can choose a difficult topic, dialog about it and end as friends, both having learned from each other.
I planned to create a new page in the fall where I can be much more careful about who I accept as a friend so that it can be a fun place to stay in touch with people. BUT I’m rethinking that today. I’m wondering how much I spoke up about things and engaged in conversations I would never have had the courage to do in a face to face situation when I posted on Facebook. This morning I feel a bit like someone threw up on me and it’s been really great to be away from that for awhile. I’m betting I “threw up” on some others and they likely aren’t missing me that much either.
Jane Getting Real 
It’s my day off from work! I put Dean’s reservation in the other day and smiled thinking of having a good face-to-face conversation with you! FB has it’s perks: seeing my kids/grandkids and keeping up with family weddings, etc. I enjoy the encouragement and inspiration too. But, the old fashioned advice of saving subjects like sex, politics, and religion for those we are closest too is probably good advice. Mostly, I am learning to focus on what we have in common and give more grace toward the rest. I also let go of toxic people: people who tax my energy, play mind games, or put others down to lift themselves up. I choose to limit the negative, love the people I love, really well— and take more walks.
I felt guilty for a year for “removing myself as an audience” from certain people on FB, but I had to get really honest with myself and realize, I would not invite those people to stay in my home for a week, out of pure friendship. Why invite them into my emotions/mind? I used to say I was inclusive and disliked exclusive people, however, I am happier being a little less– inclusive 😉 We definitely can’t change others, but we can choose how we want to live. I choose to be kind and focus on service, problem solving, and taking action.
I completely forgot about your FB story!! Honestly, this has come from my Soul Restoration Class assignments too. It’s been so clarifying. I’m huge on understanding the “other” and inclusion of those different than myself but my FB journey has been tumultuous at best. It’s always fun to reconnect with people and I enjoyed that. As I realized that I had left many of the relationships with “friends” in terms of constant contact and closeness, very intentionally at one time, it just baffled me that I was in dialog with them about anything beyond hello and how are you. I am an intense person thought and I’m sure that most of these dear folks don’t really miss my intensity all that much! I know that I set the tone for what I want my FB page to be and when I got back to it in the fall, it’s going to be a different experience. I’m not going to worry about not accepting friend requests because I’ll hurt someone’s feelings. Better at the beginning than in a heated discussion about the great Satan Obama…oy vey.
Being sensitive is a good thing, a very good thing.