Courage?

As winter is desperately trying to give way to spring here in central Minnesota I find that my life is also trying hard to give way to spring. In the middle of this very long winter, I found myself falling apart in a heap of tears at the oddest times and in the oddest places. Finally at Dean’s urging, I called a therapist and started to try to figure out what was going on. It’s no secret that I have had a rough few years with moving, a new job, a minor surgery that turned into a major nightmare and the inability to work for over two years. The term midlife crisis has come to have a whole new meaning to me.

I started meeting weekly with a therapist in January and it has proven to be a godsend to get me through this. After her evaluation  I was told that I was dealing with the realities of trauma and yesterday we discussed how seriously depressed I have been. Though I’m very familiar with mental illnesses from the other side of the fence, I’ve not been so familiar with them here on my own side.  As  I have been following through with the assignments given and become a further student of my own life, I have discovered that my recovery has simply been one of courage. As this poster came through on my Facebook page and I read it, I could hardly believe the way it mirrored the experiences I have had this past three and a half months. It’s from Marriage and Family Therapist Brene Brown

:courage

What began as asking for what I needed quickly evolved into figuring out just what my own truth actually is and being able to speak it clearly where I needed to. The next step was accepting what my story has been past and present; owning it, once that took place the very natural next step was to set new boundaries in my life in response to my truth and my story. And if that wasn’t enough, the final step up to this point has been to continue to reach out for support from those who understand my truth and my story. It’s been a very rewarding experience for me. Very, very difficult but definitely so very worthwhile.

Recently I discovered that many of my symptoms were either exacerbated by or the result of a deficiency of vitamins D and B12! As I’ve been downing the D and getting shots for the B12, I have been begun to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am certain that I’m really on my way to living a full life again and am seriously just so very grateful.

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