No surprise here…just a huge ache.

Today when I (Jane) watched and listened to Senator Collins, I heard her. There is no black/white proof other than Dr. Ford’s testimony. I do think it was very shitty for the lowlife that leaked Dr. Ford’s letter to the public against her wishes. That lack of consent from her to release it only violated her further. Senator Feinstein should have brought it forward immediately, sought an investigation immediately. As a result it looks like a last ditch effort to sabotage the Administration’s Federalist appointed candidate.
The Democratic response from the get go was grossly too weak. It was only when we, the people – we, the women of America with horrors in our own memories used our brains and thought about the men that abused us and got away with it. We then thought about what it would be like if our abuser would have been a SCOTUS nominee. I guarantee you if any of those asses that abused me as a child were up for office, I’d be either shouting from the rooftops or considering suicide. And I do not over exaggerate.
Once we saw and heard Dr. Ford testify, there was no way in hell we were going to accept that a lifetime appointment to the highest court in our land could even possibly have been her abuser. NO WAY. The stakes were just too high for us. Even so, we all knew this would be the outcome because for us, it. has. always. been. the. outcome. Always. Being sexually abused as a child literally changes your personality and for some it evolves into an actual borderline personality disorder. BPD is a horrid mental existence that thankfully we now have trained therapists for and excellent psychotropic medication to give us a way to live with it. THIS is what we experienced this past few weeks…we relived our abuse with her. The abuse from the perpetrator and the abuse from the authorities who either didn’t believe us or minimized its effect on our lives.
Until men really want to understand, which our current POTUS told them today that they shouldn’t even try to do, they will never know how utterly damaging and life-threatening it is to take over a woman’s body without her consent. What other recourse do we have but to fight with all that is in us. AND WE WERE NOT PAID by anyone!! That’s just absurd.
I know that many of you, Dean’s and my friends, voted for Trump because he was “pro-life”. What you really voted for was this. THE SUPREME COURT. Just like he said during the campaign, he could murder someone in public – and no one would call him to account for it. For the sake of reversing Roe vs. Wade, you have elected someone who has likely paid for an abortion or two. Trust us, we abused women (those who have actually dealt with it, that is) KNOW abusive men when we experience them in our lives. We know what their manipulative skills are and we know how they use their positions of power to overtake us.
What Republicans do not understand is that for every survivor of sexual abuse, the election of Donald Trump communicated to us very clearly, it’s no big deal if a man wants to “grab ’em by the pussy”. He pays off a porn star and one of his heavy’s threatens her and her daughter. You just choose not to believe it it seems. His ex-wives share stories of abuse and you don’t believe them. Because when comparing the issues of real value to this country, a Supreme Court Justice was just too important to you.
Many people choose to remain comfortably within the boundaries of what has been. Sexual abuse was 100% acceptable in the early Jewish religion. David saw Bathsheba and seduced her. She had a child. He killed her husband. The child died. He literally ruined her life without a care except for his own pleasure. Yet, even now, centuries later, he is not held accountable for what he did to her. He was considered God’s chosen, as all Kings are.
Apparently many modern day Christians believe that Donald Trump’s sexual promiscuity, his ruin of women’s lives matter little as well. What happened during this hearing wasn’t just about this hearing. It was about this president, his verbally abusive speech day in and day out toward so many people but even more about the embrace of his disgusting behavior as just a “so what” , it’s really about the Supreme Court.
When people do not believe they have genuinely been heard, they often resort to violence. Sexual abuse victims have not been genuinely heard. No one has to pay them to yell and scream in order to be heard. No one.

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