I have been thinking a lot about resilience and the ability to move ahead when the life we experience in front of us is full of things we have no control over. We are conceived and born under circumstances we have no control over and all of us are subject to the force of life that ignites us in the first place. We have no choice as to whether we breathe or whether our hearts even beat. It’s all up to something already in motion and I’ve come to the conclusion that what is in us is strength. All of us are strong. 

I am in Minnesota in hotel room not far from my adult daughter’s hospital room. In some ways it’s familiar territory for us to navigate and in others it’s entirely different. She was born at 28 weeks and spent months in the NICU in 1986. The times we’ve been in a situation like this one are too numerous to count. About a month into her stay at the NICU her colon started to die and she had to have part of it removed. She is in the hospital today, 37 years later as a result of that day…which was a result of being born 12 weeks early…which was a result of my water breaking at 13 weeks. Her world turned upside down when I was moving into my fourth month of pregnancy and with a less than one percent chance of survival, she made it to viability. 

The thing I am realizing as I sit here writing this, is that for the world around us, success and strength are measured by how much money can be deposited in our personal portfolios, the size of home we can own, the luxury cars we can drive and places we can visit. This year Travis Kielce and Taylor Swift are the power couple because individually they have achieved success like very few ever have. Both are incredible and so very strong. But here is what I know. The strength that has led to their success doesn’t hold a candle to what I have witnessed in 37 years of being Hannah’s mother. Her strength equals and then surpasses it. My daughter, has a force of life inside of her that I sincerely do not understand. She is so very strong. 

Yesterday, when I was walking back to the hospital from a restaurant, I walked by a young man sitting on a stoop, sign in hand asking for help. I wanted to walk the other way and chose to ignore him because I had nothing to offer him. All I had was my phone and he clearly wasn’t capable of taking ApplePay. But as I write this, I’m thinking about how strong he actually was sitting there and asking for help. He has clearly been through things and is somehow still here. Confused, broken and lost but still trying. The inner strength one must possess to be in such a circumstance and still keep trying has to be from somewhere deep inside. 

I’m thinking today about the incredible doctors and nurses who have cared for Hannah so far. They have spent hours and hours studying, spent oodles of money and sacrificed so much to be able to do a job that saved her life. The surgeons worked through the night that first night and again the next day, tag teaming so as to make sure they were alert and able to do it. Add to that the reality that this entire place was a hot bed of illness during the pandemic and these very docs were all there. What keeps them going? It cannot be just the money or the prestige. 

In summary,

It is human to be strong,

To be alive is to be strong. 

In our weakest states…

We are all of us, strong.